This post has been domiciling in the Drafts folder for 6 months now. A visit from a friend had me spelunking this deep dark inundated cave. Well, it is one post light now.
Friend; “Later this year we gotta visit Ibanda and you know, show some love to our fallen Ninja’s friend.
Me; “Sure we should. It’s for saving a weekend.
Friend; “True mahn, but biggest worry is how many guys will go, won’t people be busy.
Me; “Shyaaaa, even if they were five. See, life is just like that. How many people do you think knew her surname or eve where she resided? If people won’t even see you when alive, think of when you’ve passed.” But so is life, eyyy and again, what’s life?”
My only quarrel with life; is just what it is, life.
Life moves on. Life is a bitch. Life just takes no prisoners. It’s never rainbows and butterflies. Life is that one thing you can go on about until you die. You hustle day in, day out just to end up lifeless.
Life will have you home sleeping yet again; after yet another day of constant pressure, bad days at work, worse moments on the road. You’ll seek solace at home, but home won’t be home with the heart is away.
Lazy again, procrastinating, perhaps having a terrible headache, body numbing cramps, but somewhere the party goes on. As if to celebrate your misery.
You wonder what could have been, you imagine had you been there, would it have counted? Did they miss you? How come the World never stopped when your world stopped. How come, no one of those close to you felt your pain with you?
No; the world rotates regardless, it keeps on rotating. Its axis just isn’t your head.
You could be in a ditch dying, after being knocked by speeding vehicle at one past midnight. It’ll be cold, it’ll be dark. You’ll feel hopeless, you can’t lift a finger. You’ll be there gasping for breath, using that last joule of energy to scream out for help. But no one will hear you. No one will know your trials, the friends you left at the bar, the same friends you bought drinks, the girl you kissed. Someone will stop just above you, she’ll unzip her pants and pee on you. It’ll feel a bit warmer, it’ll be like the dog days are over, but it’ll just add salt to injury.
You’ll scream with every last breath, but it won’t be enough. She’ll zip up and leave, you’ll be gutted. Life moves on. For you it won’t, tomorrow they’ll pick the lifeless you and send you off, you’ll be covered in dust. That love you will cry, the tears will dry. Life will continue as usual.
See; even when you sleep off, the iPod will keep playing. Sometimes the same song on repeat. Other times it’ll play on shuffle till morning. It keeps playing whether you’re listening or not. You wake up and start from last stop.
You have people in your life, they bring you flowers, sometimes chocolate. Share music with you, look out for you. Get an Uber for you on those cold bar nights at Stoke. They care, they genuinely care, love and adore you. The other day, they drove 124 kms just to pass you a water bottle when cramps were squelching you. It’s life.
They weren’t with you when the Post Graduate professor forced himself on you. They’ll never know, because you’ll never tell. You’ll never tell because you are scared, scarred and scabbed.
What you had will die. And you’ll be crushed too. And no one will know your pain. No one will feel that pain for you. Only You.
Sometimes you’ll feel like Social Media is toxic, like there’s too much negativity, like you want a fresh start. So you go on, you mute, block un follow, you change usernames, you do the most. Oh, you’re playing yourself, nothing changes. You’ll be back, you’ll try to start from last settings and nothing will have changed. Life Kyekyi.
“I need new friends” Oh. I also need a Friends Recycling Machine. Guess we got to wake up, we get caught up in the dream and it becomes reality. No one comes perfect, even if the packaging may lie sometimes. Pretty faces; awesome curves, big heads, you’re attracted and soon you, very soon. What You See Isn’t What You Get.
You can’t run away from your shadow, new friends always end up as the old ones sooner than you lose the New Friends receipts. It’s all about you, be the the new friend you need.
Life is every bit unfair. Some will say it’s unfairly fair; others, fairly unfair. But it’s unfair either way.
Half empty or half full, the other side will always feel deficient. You know how they say the grass, this, that. It’s never greener the other side, it’s just as green. Don’t be played.
On hills top is that One Tree. At the other end of the waves is sharp rocks and that Lighthouse. All there when you are, so much there when you aren’t.