I wanna see you and not feel shy. For I bared it all, right there before your eyes.
You saw my naked soul and couldn’t cover it, not even with your woolen shawl. That one you loathe so much.
To the end of the world I went, just to put a smile on your face and that feel that is satisfaction; to my heart.
I almost walked through the shadows of the valley of death for you. And still I didn’t know you. You didn’t let me.
I never held your hand, not once, never was embraced but for that one side hug. One that faded before it was received.
I wanna take it all in with seemliness. For it seems it’s the better way away. A better way out, if at all I was in.
I’m so tired of trying, all with plain clarity right spread before me. That I chose not to see, not to feel.
I’m done with bending low just to get to know your lows and not even your laughs or your loins.
The heart is what I sought, but seems it’s that, that you can’t share. To like what isn’t to be liked is a waste.
To settle for less, to settle for the physical is the last kicks. Nevertheless it’s what it is when the ebbs set in.
Remember when I wanted to take you somewhere but you didn’t know where.
Remember when I brought you Daffodils from the pretty steam, but you only knew Roses and wasn’t fazed.
Those nights you said you wanted us to share but your phone was in a coma or on a field trip was it.
I hide from you now. I realised that you were just a sapless flower wrapped in canonical standards
But for the whirlpool that is a crush. I should have figured that out eons ago.
I saw you be bullied at this Blankets and Wines and I wanted to fight. But my feels have been broken way too many times.
I knew I’d lose. Not to them. But to myself because of the promise made, to forget you.
I couldn’t stomach seeing you sad, about to cry. But your stomach never felt the same for my pockets those days.
Not even for my feels. Heaven knows I cared. Or perhaps heaven forgot, but I tried.
*Imagination | The Friend Zone