this, lust for life…

this,

not from a Irving Stone novel. Not even slightly close.
this,
not from a Vincent van Gogh tarradiddle.
this, just is.

They say only the good die young. And I’m young, then I’m good. Then I’m worried.
So, I on that trek I embark to find sense in this, that we call life.

To find meaning, to seek the light, of what is, what should be and what might be.
To find oneself in the haystack that is life.

One:
To love, to give; to care, about the others more than you care about self!!!
It is sweet in the present, and painful in the past.
Like, nearly all that get, don’t deserve, don’t appreciate or don’t take a moment to let you know they do.
It wounds, you heal, but the diseased stay diseased. If it is a disease it is one that rarely heals.
They’ll ask again, you’ll realize a NO was appropriate YES moments later. You can’t take it back, you can’t escape from it.

Two:
You want it, you badly want it. Butt when you get it, you don’t need it.
You leave work early, money in your wallet, on full slayage.
You want to have it. Soon as you leave the gates, you’re clueless. What bar now? A movie perhaps?
But with whom will I be? A few meters from the bar, you stop, pause and ponder on the next step.
6-pm beer needs company. Who do I call?

This one, no. This, not at all. The other, perhaps; oh shit they are abroad. What next. It’s 15 minutes and you’ve been standing on the veranda of a fancy eatery.

Perhaps food. But the menu is like written in indelible ink. You’ve eaten this, and that and the other. This other one tastes best on a rainy day. And the last on on the menu is a meal for two. Arghh, you move on. Grab a bike and move to the Hill to see the sunset. You want it, you want life, but you’re lusting for it.

To the Hill, to breathe in life, you need that. To think through things, it’s about time. It’s a beautiful out there, you love it and take one or two, perhaps many shots. You love the shots, they make you almost complete. Then you think it’d been sweeter if you had at least one or any of those you love to feel, with you.
To share with you.

You start thinking of whom to share with but can’t quite figure out whom. Arghhh, this one just doesn’t love sunsets, whatever they like, you’ll never know. The other is a but, she took your headsets and never returned them.
The whole phone book is full of would have beens but isn’ts.


To be continued… but first Nora is presenting at Kigambo Hub. Got to look for that pot of gold.

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