Categories
#UgBlog #ugblogweek Affection Care Dreams Imagination Life Love Uganda ugbloc

Life moves on

This post has been domiciling in the Drafts folder for 6 months now. A visit from a friend had me spelunking this deep dark inundated cave. Well, it is one post light now.

Friend; “Later this year we gotta visit Ibanda and you know, show some love to our fallen Ninja’s friend.

Me; “Sure we should. It’s for saving a weekend.

Friend; “True mahn, but biggest worry is how many guys will go, won’t people be busy.

Me; “Shyaaaa, even if they were five. See, life is just like that. How many people do you think knew her surname or eve where she resided? If people won’t even see you when alive, think of when you’ve passed.” But so is life, eyyy and again, what’s life?”


My only quarrel with life; is just what it is, life.

Life moves on. Life is a bitch. Life just takes no prisoners. It’s never rainbows and butterflies. Life is that one thing you can go on about until you die. You hustle day in, day out just to end up lifeless.

Life will have you home sleeping yet again; after yet another day of constant pressure, bad days at work, worse moments on the road. You’ll seek solace at home, but home won’t be home with the heart is away.

Lazy again, procrastinating, perhaps having a terrible headache, body numbing cramps, but somewhere the party goes on. As if to celebrate your misery.

You wonder what could have been, you imagine had you been there, would it have counted? Did they miss you? How come the World never stopped when your world stopped. How come, no one of those close to you felt your pain with you?

No; the world rotates regardless, it keeps on rotating. Its axis just isn’t your head.

You could be in a ditch dying, after being knocked by speeding vehicle at one past midnight. It’ll be cold, it’ll be dark. You’ll feel hopeless, you can’t lift a finger. You’ll be there gasping for breath, using that last joule of energy to scream out for help. But no one will hear you. No one will know your trials, the friends you left at the bar, the same friends you bought drinks, the girl you kissed. Someone will stop just above you, she’ll unzip her pants and pee on you. It’ll feel a bit warmer, it’ll be like the dog days are over, but it’ll just add salt to injury.

You’ll scream with every last breath, but it won’t be enough. She’ll zip up and leave, you’ll be gutted. Life moves on. For you it won’t, tomorrow they’ll pick the lifeless you and send you off, you’ll be covered in dust. That love you will cry, the tears will dry. Life will continue as usual.

See; even when you sleep off, the iPod will keep playing. Sometimes the same song on repeat. Other times it’ll play on shuffle till morning. It keeps playing whether you’re listening or not. You wake up and start from last stop.

You have people in your life, they bring you flowers, sometimes chocolate. Share music with you, look out for you. Get an Uber for you on those cold bar nights at Stoke. They care, they genuinely care, love and adore you. The other day, they drove 124 kms just to pass you a water bottle when cramps were squelching you. It’s life.

They weren’t with you when the Post Graduate professor forced himself on you. They’ll never know, because you’ll never tell. You’ll never tell because you are scared, scarred and scabbed.

What you had will die. And you’ll be crushed too. And no one will know your pain. No one will feel that pain for you. Only You.

Sometimes you’ll feel like Social Media is toxic, like there’s too much negativity, like you want a fresh start. So you go on, you mute, block un follow, you change usernames, you do the most. Oh, you’re playing yourself, nothing changes. You’ll be back, you’ll try to start from last settings and nothing will have changed. Life Kyekyi.

“I need new friends” Oh. I also need a Friends Recycling Machine. Guess we got to wake up, we get caught up in the dream and it becomes reality. No one comes perfect, even if the packaging may lie sometimes. Pretty faces; awesome curves, big heads, you’re attracted and soon you, very soon. What You See Isn’t What You Get.

You can’t run away from your shadow, new friends always end up as the old ones sooner than you lose the New Friends receipts. It’s all about you, be the the new friend you need.


Life is every bit unfair. Some will say it’s unfairly fair; others, fairly unfair. But it’s unfair either way.

Half empty or half full, the other side will always feel deficient. You know how they say the grass, this, that. It’s never greener the other side, it’s just as green. Don’t be played.


On hills top is that One Tree. At the other end of the waves is sharp rocks and that Lighthouse. All there when you are, so much there when you aren’t.4ede2ef1-ef2a-465f-bfcc-ed143356e7bb

Categories
#UgBlog #ugblogweek Affection Love Uganda ugbloc

this, lust for life…

this,

not from a Irving Stone novel. Not even slightly close.
this,
not from a Vincent van Gogh tarradiddle.
this, just is.

They say only the good die young. And I’m young, then I’m good. Then I’m worried.
So, I on that trek I embark to find sense in this, that we call life.

To find meaning, to seek the light, of what is, what should be and what might be.
To find oneself in the haystack that is life.

One:
To love, to give; to care, about the others more than you care about self!!!
It is sweet in the present, and painful in the past.
Like, nearly all that get, don’t deserve, don’t appreciate or don’t take a moment to let you know they do.
It wounds, you heal, but the diseased stay diseased. If it is a disease it is one that rarely heals.
They’ll ask again, you’ll realize a NO was appropriate YES moments later. You can’t take it back, you can’t escape from it.

Two:
You want it, you badly want it. Butt when you get it, you don’t need it.
You leave work early, money in your wallet, on full slayage.
You want to have it. Soon as you leave the gates, you’re clueless. What bar now? A movie perhaps?
But with whom will I be? A few meters from the bar, you stop, pause and ponder on the next step.
6-pm beer needs company. Who do I call?

This one, no. This, not at all. The other, perhaps; oh shit they are abroad. What next. It’s 15 minutes and you’ve been standing on the veranda of a fancy eatery.

Perhaps food. But the menu is like written in indelible ink. You’ve eaten this, and that and the other. This other one tastes best on a rainy day. And the last on on the menu is a meal for two. Arghh, you move on. Grab a bike and move to the Hill to see the sunset. You want it, you want life, but you’re lusting for it.

To the Hill, to breathe in life, you need that. To think through things, it’s about time. It’s a beautiful out there, you love it and take one or two, perhaps many shots. You love the shots, they make you almost complete. Then you think it’d been sweeter if you had at least one or any of those you love to feel, with you.
To share with you.

You start thinking of whom to share with but can’t quite figure out whom. Arghhh, this one just doesn’t love sunsets, whatever they like, you’ll never know. The other is a but, she took your headsets and never returned them.
The whole phone book is full of would have beens but isn’ts.


To be continued… but first Nora is presenting at Kigambo Hub. Got to look for that pot of gold.

Categories
#UgBlog #ugblogweek Affection Care Dreams Fiction Imagination Infinite Love Life Love Uganda ugbloc

I will

“I have a headache so I won’t write.” I have thoughts. That yearn to be let out. And they’ll be.
I have a lot that I’m sleeping on. The sleep is sweet. I want more.
I’l write something so nice. It’ll have tongues wagging. When I wake up, I will.
Oh here comes the rain. Soon as it dries up i’ll write. I love the rain. I love the sleep. I live for sleep in the rain.
I’ll wake up. I’ll write. My friend, she wants a Billet-doux written. She longs for it. I’ll write. She’ll smile.
I bought her a flower. It dried up. she smiled. She didn’t sneeze this time. It was dry. She loved it, but she didn’t say.
The chocolate. It didn’t melt. It was melted. Words were written. In it. “Write me something, anything.” What was left. It was smudged. On her favorite seat. My face.
“I can’t say i love you. I can say I love ink, this ink, you and paper.”
I’ll write. Anything. It’ll be short, it’ll be from the heart and it’ll be about us.
When i wake up. I’ll write.


From this dream. When I wake up… to be continued.

Categories
#UgBlog #ugblogweek Affection Care Dreams Imagination Love Poetry Uganda ugbloc

Ayyy

Little Pretty Woman
Blessed with a bosom capped with twin peaks
Adorned with dark thick tipped nipples
Lance them by the edges of my mouth
Let it joustle with the thrust of my tongue

Take me deep into it
That little place they call sin
The enclave hushed by desire
Major Arcana cards held aloft
Where you’re High Priestess and I obey

Let me touch your thin veil of awareness
Where touch is forever more
Envelop me with your nether lips
Warm embraces the hedonist never forgets
Engulf me in swatches of sodden covers
Palpitating with a certain accord to the pink

Little curvy woman
Blessed with a derriere so bountiful
Juggled by the sway of your hips
Lay me on your altar of euphoria
Pierce me with the dagger of your eyes
Cleanse me with the taste of your lips

Even as the furnance that is my loins burns
Erecting the tower that is this meat
Babel reaching for the stars inside the slit
Veins filling the shaft with venom
Don’t cool it down for no remonstrance

Despite the flush of my cheeks
Teach me the ways of your castle
That I may lay my life down to defend
Be my Delilah, this strength I give away
This hair, eat away

Daughter of gods
Let me adjusting the bra that contours your bust
Let me take you from behind
Not like the dog I am, but a god
Let me into your infinite wetness
Across the waves of your ocean
Animate my desire in your well of creation

Impale me with your long sharp one
Bruises deep burgundy like fine wine
The colors you place onto my body
Soothen it with your warm wet tongue
And the littl whispers down my ear

Allow me to abseil those twin peaks
So I embrace their dark tipped cupolas
Grinding and winding down like an funambulist
Let me overturn your mound
Tending the sweet spot. Of pleasure
Tendrils convulsing the cradle that is your body
Hold on tight, this is us.No names, just pleasure

Categories
Affection Love Topics

Birthdate Blues.

 

Random Post. Typed on my way from the Field. In a cab with fake music and super cold AC.


picsart_10-27-07.50.46.jpg

November can’t wait for you. The month that resets my life. 1st of November, when reconciliations of my achievements and deliberations about my life is carried out. To one who doesn’t make resolutions, the measure is the feeling. Am I feeling good about where I am? Where I’m going? The pasr isn’t something I dwell on, so where I tread is a ground with no thorns.

1st November, All Saints Day. The date of my birth, now the date of my birth anniversary. I always feel like a saint, because of what my life has been. Not much but miracle after miracle. Blessed, that’s what I am.

1st November the day I get treats from people I like and those that I don’t.

2nd November the day I get to feel bad for treating people half the way they treated me. Life is such that you can’t appease everyone you have in your life on some occasions. There will always be priorities, choices and opportunity costs and the like.

Valentines day taught me more about ‘Occasion Disappointments’. Being Single showed me the trials of being affectionate or close to affectionate to more than one person. You have a Sandra expecting you to call and do the wishes, send flowers and dinner or something and you have a Martha who you kissed last week and feelings are still high in the air.

There’s a Doreen who works with you and always feels you are the one, and you sometimes tell her she is the close one. There’s a Linda who is 500kms away to whom you shouldn’t forget to send wishes.

It so happens that there’s a Manchester United vs Arsenal game, an El classico derby later that night and you are the kind of man.

You regret the next day, Whatsapp messages saying; ‘You forgot about me’, ‘You chucked me’, ‘Kale, you guy, fuck you’.

It is life, It’s what it is.

This November, this first November will be special. I can feel it, I’m in love and happen to share a birth month with the lover. and I know she’ll do bad things to me. She’ll feed nice things to me. She’ll take me places and back.

This November, I’ll be who I always want to be. Because my life will be reset, all fresh and new. This November I’ll be older, wiser and happier. Happier because it’ll be just a month or two to the next year. Happy because November is the last normal month of 2016.

2016 which has been a year of mixed fortunes. I had my first close death in 2016, I had my first taste of unemployment in 2016. But also I got this job in a place I like the most and most importantly met this girl, this complete girl, one who anyone would want to live with happily ever after.

Either way 2016 has to end before anything bad stains it the more. Even the economy is fast falling. I hope, only hope that I have enough for November. Cake will be eaten; Javas food munched and life lived.

Youuuu, November; come around already.

 

Categories
#UgBlog #ugblogweek Affection Imagination Infinite Love Life Love Topics Uganda

Dumbballs.

PicsArt_1467285283817

Has a man approached you, opened his mouth and you’re like WTF? Well it can’t get any more dramatic than;

I recognise you.
Do you pray from Watoto North West?
Have you been to Cafe Javas Kampala Boulevhahad?
Did you audition for Big Brother Africa?
Could it be have been the last Blankets and Wine?
Did you intern with the Parliament?

I have seen you somewhere.
It can’t be Legends, is it?
Do you pray from All Saints on Sundays?
Are you the NTV lady?
The Ascot races, weren’t you in the adjacent tent?
I knew it, the MTN Marathon it is.

I recognise you.
I sat behind you in this High School class.
We are in the same Whatsapp group.
I play ball with your brothers.
We were on the same plane to Qatar.
The WestCoast Gym, I work out from there too.

I’ve met you somewhere.
Oh yes, it’s Iguana.
Is it you I met via Ekisaakate in Bristol?
Wow, I was at your christening, you’ve grown!
Monot Bar, must have been there.

I think I know you.
I don’t know from where.
I just have that feeling.
Nice to bump into you again.
I’m Amanya. You?

Being a man is treading the path to dumbville. Approaching a girl or starting up a conversation is your ticket.
Sometimes you need a pick up line, not a stanza, just a line. Sometimes you need God’s grace.
Some people are always genuine. Other people are sometimes genuine, other times not.
It’s dumb whichever way you look at it. Only that passion numbs dumb.

Categories
Affection Care Imagination Infinite Love Love

Tutee

The girl I loved but never fell in love with.
The girl who loved me but never owned me.

Opportunity knocks once just like lightning strikes a spot only once, they say.
Stifle your feelings and the chemistry, the ‘connection’ will be asphyxiated. Not good.
You can only take a small bite of your cake, if you wanna keep it.
Apprehensiveness will deny you what’s truly yours.
Or will only let you taste just enough to fill you with enough what ifs.
Fear of what next. Fear of companionship, fear of emotional submissiveness. Not good.

noun_150668_cc

She came into his life at time when he’d just moved from a single sex school to a mixed one.
When he didn’t know how to react to daily proximity to a girl he’d have something for. Or any girl at that.
She touched him when the earmarks of a past relationship hadn’t faded away.
When he was still in denial of feelings past, in incredulity of the circs present.
A past relationship of long distance letters, stolen kisses on Interact days and a once in a lifetime dub on Sosh.
To having skirts all over, soft tender rubs from arms passing by, the high pitched voices and giggles.
Either way she touched him and what sprung up was a bond for a lifetime.

The girl I shared my vests with but never shared a towel.
The girl who showed me, compared her little boobs with my chest.

Affection is so cryptic, it just sprouts like a shoot burgeoning from a seedless raisin.
It fills your soul and you  cease to care about how much you care and feel for the other.
Nothing in this world makes us so necessary to others as the affection we have for them, nothing.
Whether it is reciprocated or not, doubled or halved, still you care, incessantly. And you don’t see it. You don’t realize it till someone points you there, and you feel it.
It feels good too, feeling something you can’t quite comprehend.
As to love is passion, contagion is to affection. You catch it, along the way, like it or not.
If it’s real, it sticks. Only in affection is durable care bottled.

noun_119463_cc

He always made sure she had a blazer on, as she was asthmatic. She made sure he attended lessons as he was not that motivated.
She always fought his fights for him, and he defended her all through thick and very thick.
Every weekend they’d sit under the shade near the basket ball court and chat away for hours, like forever.
Only that forever is never enough because was always evening prep.
They were not in love, they were just there, they weren’t even friends. They were something else. They were like clones.
And everyone knew it. Talked about it but couldn’t explain it, as they both seemed to be seeing others.
When she lost her dad, it’s in his chest that she found solace. He was there for her all through, holding her hand.
And hold hands they did, every day at evening prayers, in church seated on the wretched pews every sunday.
Something was in their hands, a connection of sorts. For the hands would pen endless chits.
In church, at the aisle holding hands they would be, ought to be, as everyone predicted, but for affection devoid of action.

The girl I will never marry, but whose hand I’ll happily give away.
The girl who will never make our blood thicker than water.

noun_50475_cc